If im not wrong it rained here in mainland and we were lucky enuf that it was sunny hot at sentosa. The weather's was fine i am turning darker and darker as days being a soldier. not taking considerations with regards to today's outing to sentosa, im already a brownie. well everyone agreed to meet at 11am and as humans, we tend to have no sense of urgency instilled in us from the day we were born. And so i was the first thinking that i was late but i reached there on the dot. the rest turned up one by one and so the whole group was complete till it was about 1230. at least i got to eat my lunch at macds.
took the bus to sentosa and just as we were about to change to the island's bus, saw alan working there part time. what a small world. so we asked him about the go-kart thingy as well as directions in sentosa. as u noe, sentosa is ever-changing. what's there is gone and what's planned to be there is being constructed. we headed down to pahlawan beach and settled near some trees which canopy's was kind enuf to provide us the minimum shade that we were looking for. yesterday saw chiobus at orchard, today was no exception. its just sentosa and its the beach. there was aplenty there. sometimes i just feel that life's unfair. im not one of their friends or friend's frend. and when we shifted to siloso beach, can u imagine that my jaws were practically hanging downwards towards the sand? nah i was just kidding. there were so many gorgeous babes. talking about life's unfair, where am i heading to? i've lost the mood to court girls since god knows when but i believed it was long time ago. maybe during 1st yr poly?
there's so much feelings involved when courting a girl and my success rate probably have hit rock bottom 0%. firstly there's something that's holding me back. till now i cant expressed it in words but only i understand how am i feeling. its confusing for me. friends have been telling me how it was possible for me to go a step ahead with someone during my poly days and the-oh-so-confused-me didnt sound off anything to her at that point of time. if maybe i sounded off something i probably stand at least a decent chance. the problem is i never gif it a shot at all. i do haf feelings for that girl and as what i've said, im so confused with myself and the strong "feeling" that's holding me back was unbearable.
i need to overcome this one day....
when will it be?
life's unfair to me now...
no matter how positive i try to be, i still haf that wounded scar from the previous one.
letting it go was hard at the beginning, now its slowly drifting away....
being in national service has its blessings in a unique kind of way to me; and an aching heart-wrenching gutted feelings. its a double-edge sword.
at least during training, i am so shagged that i am not thinking about anything else.
the upcoming week is gonna be the shiong period. im having atp live shoot on monday. one day burnt at the range and i really mean it. preparations for 32km route march with river crossings on tues. i will be back in tekong on tues nite as we need to start our route march on the next morning. 32km of walking and the last few 8km or so is gonna be tough. drenched after doing our river crossing, we still have to complete the route march. back at company line on wed evening or so. high confidence course on thurs...and finally exercise grandslam 2 on fri-sat(eve). will be booking out on sat nite i guess. and during the exercise grandslam 2, i finally haf the chance to board the chinook. we are going to fly! a long week ahead and may god bless me with good health.
needa a gd slp now. meeting dan at westmall tmr around 11am. gonna do some last min shopping and then back to camp :(
