Didn’t have much to update guys. Sorry about that. Shall make it up for today then. Anyway im supposed to have my interim presentation at Ryder but Mr Ng pulled out at the 11th hour coz of the JAE thingy. I was so hyped up for today’s presentation as I was confident that I will do well…but things do happen sometimes…well I hope to see more of the bright side rather than the other.

Currently I am busy doing my project here in Ryder but I just gotta take some time off. Im feeling abit low morale. I have declared to my frendz that I wun be scolding anymore or at least try to cut down. Im changing this time for the better..hopefully so. Yea..still young but not getting any younger as I realized. So hence the cutting down of vulgarities and time to change the whole mindset…mayb less play and be serious when u need to be. This attachment has straighten out my thinking of what I wanna do in my later life if I still live, u noe accidents do happen, so we cant predict when we die or wat. Not being a pessimist here and the future’s a lil bit brighter if I go and study in Australia. I mean even with a diploma noe, it’s still not sufficient I guess to survive in Singapore. I hope our planning of the 3PL company will be a reality. Its going to eat a lot of time and money with unlimited commitments plus the ns as a liability. NS – 2yrs. Within that 2 years, a lot can be achieved or improved. And if we really gonna start up the 3PL company, someone’s gotta do the research, planning and decisions. But the big problem is….NS!! its really suckylah..

Anyway being a small 3PL in sg doesn’t haf much opportunities but we have to source out for new ideas and services. Wang has thought of many as usual, and if we really get the support from NP, then we will need some ppl to do research for us during the 2yrs.

Feeling abit down too..haiyah..sibei sianz man…its about her again. Saw something which puts me back at level 1. I tink someone’s really jioing her all the way. And that person is not me lah…dohz…Im interested but im not doing anything man…I tink im still not prepared to court a girl. Wang told me being single is gd. Can see he kinda sianz also of relationship. Yalah when u sianz, of coz u will say another thing.the same with me. When im sianz being single, of coz I want to court girls right?

And the thing that I want to bring up is that im single and sianz. Wanted to jio her but kept holding back. Used to have a lot of self confidence but I haf none now. I guess I will never noe whether I haf a chance or wat unless I tell it to her myself that I got feelings for her and want to know if it’s possible between us. Im constantly challenging myself. maybe its becoz of my star sign. I dunno…from young I got two different personality. Got a split personality as wat ppl says. Mayb that’s y im always contradicting myself..that’s a typical Gemini? Wanted to forget her but still liked her? Wanted to be with her but still want her to get attached to someone else so that I can forget her? I am indecisive too…bleah..that’s the worst thing man. Might be playing billiard with fellow pal weilong and shiming. But im still not sure…just need to go out tonite…really do…

This is the worse entry that I have ever written I tink. The uncertainties of life and friendship. A friendship that I want to bring to a next level but I just dun dare. I guess im such a coward?probably am…there’s endless thoughts about this issue and I still dun haf the courage to bare it to her. At least if I bare it to her, she will know how I feel and I can get the answer. That might put a stop of me liking her…but the truth is my feelings has deepened for her…its been a yr plus long liao…as time stretches, the feelings grew and grew…somehow somewhere someone’s gotta put a stop to this.

So what am I supposed to do now? The guy’s really jioing all the way man…probably waiting for her answer. Shud I sit here and do nothing but blog about my unhappiness day in day out? Haha…the biggest rubbish in my life I guess till now…the longest feelings developed for a gal…etc….and the ppl that I mix with, they told me I probably stand some chance…n I keep telling them that I haf none. I tink what I felt is really true lah…

Protect ~ 1:57 pm

Pic taken at kotaraya jb


City Square JB


Siao gina


cool?


cool?


my coolest pic i tink ever taken..

Alright guys, enuf of the eye-candy pics :p

I got swollen left eye, that explains my sunglasses in every pic. went to the doc in the morning and was given two days mc....its been awhile since i was given a two days mc..haha...and if tmr there's still no chance of recovery, i will haf to undergo a surgery to remove the problem. damn it.! i haf my presentation on friday and im still not sure if im able to make it. Tink i shud call up Mr Ng tmr to ask him to postpone his visit to the company. From my current plight, i tink im not be able to make itlah..haha...as for the pics, i still haf alot to post but im a lazy bloke now. i only post these pics as i tink they are well taken.haha...hmmm

today me and my family went back to andrew's ave there near sembawang park to look at their old kampung house. i stayed there for 40days after my mom gave birth and then we shifted.so i didnt get to experience that type of carefree life. my mom and dad were like so happy telling me about this place and that place.i can see the sparkles in their eyes...although i wasnt so emotionally attached to that place, somehow i felt a sense of belonging there...a mystical feeling that cannot be described by theory. alot changed according to my parents and trees and bushes have taken over the place where the houses and etc used to stand. i was shocked to see drastic changes after 20yrs...hmmm


still tinking of the surgery part...hai...doctor told me that my eye will never be cured by medicine alone. he need to extract it so that there wun be a recurrent in the future..he told me truthfully that yea i wun get well unless surgery. usually he will tell me that i will get well, but this time, he gotta say that..lol...he also told me that if he was me, he wudnt want the surgery... :( must be that its painful!hope it goes well for me if im going for it...haiz..

gotta take rest now...its damn painful...

Protect ~ 12:41 am

Finally got my LIVESTRONG YELLOW BAND.

FINALLY Vday is gonna be over soon in about few more minutes. Lemme guess, has it been around 3 yrs since i went out to celebrate vday? i tot so. well it really is!!!goodness, time flies with a blink of an eye...(having sore-eyes now) ...not becoz im jealous of those lovey-dovey couples down the street (thankfully i went straight home after work) but its becoz i simply dunno how i got this. at first i just felt discomfort when rubbing my left eye, and now it has swollen abit. its been a week. my mom said its in the end stages, haha..hopefully...i was contemplating whether to take half day anot just now at work, but with loads of shit to do i just gotta hold on. i suffered today. i faced the lappy the whole day typing away on microsoft word and i was so stressed today. TOTALLY. i dunno how to calm myself just now at work and the stress keep on piling. never have i felt so stress in my life. wat a bloody day. the worse thing is that i still have to continue my work tmr....someone plz save me...

just finished watching "windstruck" vcd 1. not going to continue to the next one as i haf the storyline registered clearly at the back of my head. that's the worst attribute that i have. i can remember whatever happens and there's no point in watching somemore. that's y when i wanna watch a movie, i gotta watch it in the cinema coz the first time is the only time that i will enjoy it tremendously. My memories a virgin for movies.

currently im into the last 5 weeks of attachments. its supposed to be a gd thing right? but i dun tink so. as the end approaches, im buried in distress. the stress just keep on piling up and for some reason my heart beat faster than the usual. Mr Ng who's my Liaison Officer(a lecturer from my course) called me when im at work just now. Reminded me that he will be coming this friday for my interim assessment and i gotta take the napfa test on the 28th. So on the 28th with his permission, i can take half day leave. So i tink my supervisor cant do anything about it. Its a bad timing to be taking a half day leave as there's so much to do now. Ok here's the scenario, i was rotated round the company for 3month afterwhich then im able to settle down and decide what i wanna do for my project. When i realised that i gotta start, i was given a period of 7 weeks. And during this 7 weeks, i gotta do my interim report, powerpoint slides, project,project proposal, project writeup, final IA report, final IA powerpoint slides as well as tackling problems with my project. so for these period of 7 weeks, seriously, will u be stressed ?

Recently i have been going to work at around 9+. always wud reach there between 9.15-9.40am i didnt take the morning bus already. it was too early for me. and today surprisingly i took the train with weili. her lesson was at 9 and she left home at around 8+. it coincides with the time that i always reached the station. so we met up at yishun and parted at jurong. she took the dover train while i took the boonlay one. it's been awhile since i saw her. received her mms pic yesterday while i was sleeping. i dun understand her and myself. i dunno what's happening. its damn frustrating u noe. And this one adds to my problems. seems that i have never lack of problems. they just keep charging at me. i want to get a punching bag man. but its kinda outdated. now there' so many alternatives. lost my appetite too...kinda sucky..hungry but no mood to eat...fark it man.

things not going well for me now. hope this bad run ends soon. going to genting with my classmates, the girls, wang coming too. not sure about the rest. tentatively they said it will be around the first week or april. that's nice. having a prom too and not sure when is it. just awaiting to graduate now. few yrs back, i was gingerly carrying textbooks to sch, the pure chem and physics that's so farking thick to class, but in poly i only carried some books,notes and laptop during the first yr. After the first yr i practically bring nothing...lol...friendships forged during the early poly days and it was memorable. the guys had a strong bond together and we were the happening ones. glad i've been there. things will never be the same again in future. mayb again?after ns...we're going to australia to study again!haha...hopefully it turns out well...aight then

Protect ~ 11:51 pm

Oh yea, its Monday. The beginning of a new week. I slpt late late nite and it was quite bothersome to be waking up early in the morning. Ah…just cudnt get to the mood of bathing n going for work after that. So I slept for an hour’s more. No I wasn’t late. I reached ryder at 9+ via public transport. Was waiting for the jurong transport but I guessed I missed it. There were no one else at the waiting point except me. I was there early but I just cudnt recognize the bus. The place were buzzing with buses and that mayb the reason y I missed it.hai…next time I shall go to lakeside mrt station to take the 8+ bus to ryder…kns…actually I can take the morning one at yishun but I just cudnt wake up.

Im here at ryder doing Microsoft access for the switching centre. It came to a point where I can just pull my hair and kick some tables around. Its so damn frustrating man. I cant think of anymore ideas and im stuck her in my cubicle typing this entry away. Gotten my pay today!!! : ) finally…my third pay …earned 1.5k till now but haven really used the money to indulge in myself. And so this month I shall spend it on just myself. Yes…myself…if can I wanna get a solvil et titus watch, a new Motorola e680 some clothes and some pants. That 500 doesn’t get me all those. So I haf to prioritize my need’s list. Also haf to pay for my handphone bills…hai…500 doesn’t last u that long now huh? Anyone who’s so kind hearted and willing to donate to me? Its for a gd cause u noe..at least u make ur frend happy! Donations starts now and the toll-lines are open. Sms me to pledge ur donations. Hehez!

Had a short break just now with this new colleague. He’s 27 and I asked him some questions regarding boy-girl issue. Felt that he’s matured enuf to be answering my questions. Asked him whether gd friends will hold hands? Whether gd friends will hold hands when they feeling cold? The rest of the questions are classified…lol

Ok young adults out there, read this carefully :

No gd friends doesn’t hold hands. They have the mentality of a gd friend and in a guy’s mind, they will treat the girl as a GUY considering that they are close friends. Unless the girl or the guy haf feelings for the other party.

No they also wudnt hold hands even when they feel cold. Naturally u wud cuddled urself up like locking ur elbows together close to ur body. Even if they hold hands, they wudnt feel any warmth except at the palms. It’s the body that’s feeling cold but what’s the use of holding hands when ur cold?

These came from the MAN himself alright guys. I didn’t edit anything here. And so now im more confused if u haf read my entry on the day I went out with weili to ktv. Anyway she’s in Malaysia for one week and will be back on Friday or sat. in the meanwhile everyone is preparing for CNY. In the office alone, a lot of ppl went off during lunchtime…haha..hope I got half day tmr!!!

Go home early and slack. But haiyah…no use…cant go out and enjoy. Cashless and my friends are all busy. I haf a lot of Chinese friends but much as I dun want to say this, I haf few malay pals. I dunno whats wrong with me…but I guess it’s the way I am since secondary..

Oh yea…the 27yr old guy got a name. Ken or kemp. Kinda confused too by his name. haha…he told me that I looked so Chinese and I dun haf any malay resemblance in me…lol…kinda got used to it big time man. He also said that mayb in future I will go for Chinese girls..lolx…I dunno…currently I am looking at them…he also ask me to get a gf to settle down…he’s been in a relationship for 11 yrs…so imagine how freaking long is that..he’s engaged and planning to marry her in about 2 yrs time…how cool is that….now im mixing with adults…hmph…u small kiddos…talk about soccer, clubbing, dissing ppl off…haha….shame on u….im an “adult” too now!!! Wah so sianz now….told yihui my ex colleague on sat that I dun haf the courage to jio girls anymore. Weili too knows it…its my overall weakness and I can just only like them but dun dare to reveal it…god knows how long I liked weili. Im trying my best to keep her out of my mind…siaming myself away from her….but I guess its just too childish man. Mayb one day I will proclaim my love to her in a glorified manner…(what the shit?)….watever

Meeting shiming later at northpoint after 7+. Accompanying him to sk jewellery coz he wanted to get a diamond pendant for his gf. Wat a loyal bf…but only me and some of his frends knew him too well…haha…shudnt say much here less I get myself into trouble…hehe…ok kiddos, time for me to end it here for today….will update soon again.

Protect ~ 4:36 pm

Hehz! Just uploaded a new pic on the left of my blog. Nice eh? Taken while i was "sleeping". look at him...so innocent and calm....

What a nite it has been for me on friday. Went out to fetch wang first before going to bukit timah. he collected his table tennis stuffs from his coach before meeting ken, puisan, daniel and derek at jurong swimming pool, chinese garden there. Ken was parking standing outside of his car with the rest. dan got into the car and off we went to fetch at jurong point. After that went back again to meet up with the rest. We discussed there about later programs and off we go to changi village to see all the bapoks.

and so two cars set out for the destination bapok. Ken lead the way into pie. basket he sped off and at times i cudnt get near him. Traffic was heavy at the beginning and i had to keep close to his car so that we are not that distanced from each other. Then we reached changi airport...ken lost his way...LOL...we took over for awhile but they wanted to be infront..so what the heck..finally we reached changi v. and went one round at the carpark looking at the bapoks...goodness...they were so so so HOT! i cant imagine them that they were guys afterall...haha..

we entered the carpark and park our cars there. of coz i didnt want to park beside his car coz i want to create a space in between so that we can slack. so the troops of 7 guys went to nearby coffeeshop to eat and discuss about those hot "chicks" prowling on the pavement expecting cars to pick them up and going to secluded places to do the act. HAHA. the fish and chips there were very nice and it was in a huge servings...i just cudnt finish it. Excuse me man.

After eating we troopies went to the area where they prowl and feigned walking around just to see them closely.haha..one was walking past us and "shim" was hot. derek whistled at her...and we guys were luffing...she turned and looked but wasnt that interested in us as i think we were in a big grp. so we just slacked there, talked till around 2+ before deciding to retire for the day.

for the way home, my side was fully packed. derek joined and sent him to geylang. then at geylang, when negotiating a right turn, i turned into the opposite's traffic lane. wat a disaster, luckily the oncoming cars were still quite far and imagine if they were coming at a blinding speed. we wud all be wiped out! sorry guys on that nite but i felt that i was blur. it was around 3am and luckily there wasnt many vehicles on the road. If TP was to see it, i wud be finished too. after that sent miah home. then on the way to send dan, topped up the car's tank at nearby shell station. dan arrived at his place safety and proceed to send wang's home. The driver is always last to be home in this case. no troubles again sending wang home before i zip into kje and then bke.

BKE, i took a wrong exit and ended somewhere near woodlands checkpoint. I was kancheong but slowly i make my way out. But as soon as i was able to make my way out, another accident occured. i was going into the filter lane and when i almost exited, the car hit the kerb on the left and my car jerked upwards! oh no, not another one....infront of me was a tree but luckily the car fell nicely on the roadside. I stopped the car, switched on the hazard light and stopped for sometime. I knew i gotta be fresh to go home. i took a short break. was feeling damn tired at that point already.

reached home safely at 4+ and went online for awhile before going to slp. woke up at 9 the next morning coz haf to drive my mom to jb to take stuffs.

at singapore checkpoint, there was a line of trailers and what haf u. i tot dielah, jam infront then sure wait inside car like siao. But then i was wrong, it was only the trucks lane. went into johor smoothly and it was my first time driving in. was quite kancheong u noe. haha...my mom guided me in jb accurately coz she frequents there every week without fail. so she knows the route very well. my word, i see alot of protons and kancils there....it was such an eyesore...everywhere these brands...argh!!!its farking cheap there u noe...that's y...it was very tiring to drive in johor, traffic was slow and the road had a lot of holes. father mom and sis were in the car except my bro only. damn tired to be driving manual there. if only i was driving an auto one...then it wud be nicer to my legs...haf to keep gearing up and down there...knn...now i understand y johor is in debt. i dun want to say here but u guys shud go there and see for yaself.

backed home at 3+ and send my father to work after he washed up. it was kinda near and i went home straight to slp. went to tampines and bukit batok at nite to send my mom's things with my sis in the car. it was a long journey from one corner to the other.hai...

slpt practically the whole day today. i was really tired from those two days. met up with shiming over kopi at nite and then went home to watch soton's game. knn..soton were winning till the bastard bent came and shoot it in...tmd...that bastard deserves to die. haha..oklah enuf for today...will be sleeping at 2 today. gotta take sometime off from this blog for now..ciaoz!

Protect ~ 1:46 am

What a day! I was busy doing reports, reports and more reports in office today! For a start, i wrote my Jan monthly report and upon completion, i submitted to my LO. Whoa i guess he must haf felt so shocked to see my report in his email...(is Faizal changing for the better?) lolx...

Did my project write up too but in the end it turned out to be a report! a project write up was supposed to be short and concised. So i sought help from my supervisor who told me to keep it short. But luckily that piece of work is still valuable. I can submit to my teacher for the interim report regarding the project. a-ha!

Pals were surprised to see me online today. All thought i was not working. Damn it guys! Im at work!! Cant u all read my nick? Funny how i haf to discretely typed a message in the office as im sitting in front of my operation manager's cubicle only. kinda scared but what the hell...HOOT only ah!! somemore the rest in the office were also chatting using yahoo messenger. i tink im one of those rare species to be using msn messsenger? my supervisor is just like a stone's throw from my desk. obviously i cant shout lah but haf to go to his desk like a retard, just to ask him to configure my wireless settings for my lappy. but from tmr onwards, im going to haf the cable plugged in as there is a clash of IP addy while using my lappy. so i got disconnect every now and then.(so suay) quite buay song ah!

Its freezing cold in the office ya noe. Luckily i wore my U2 long sleeve shirt with collars( for that man's look)..and berms!! kidding...jeans lah. Brought a nike bag to work with my lappy inside and it was damn heavy ah. Guess its time to relive those yr1 moments where we all haf to bring our lappy dutifully to sch for lessons.LOL. actually i can use the cpu there, but its pentium 3. PENTIUM 3 for goodness sake!! At least mine's better. Its a 4. im more familiarised with my lappy rather than the company's cpu which has dunno countless germs on the keyboards and mouse...eeeeks! mine's quarantined nicely...hehz!ego huh?

Oh yea gotta submit my interim report by feb 4th but i still tot it's due on feb 18. I got it totally wrong i must admit. My LO's coming on 18th but i gotta submit the report by 4th. Gotta show him that i've changed again. hopefully all turns out well and my days at the company are numbered. Its a gd thing coz i just want to breakaway from this corporate world for a moment. Its somehow frustrating somewhere but u just dunno where. How irony ? It shud be...dohz!

having a rented car on friday nite at 9pm for collection. dunno what will i be doing by then?haha..gotta go jb in the morning. so im driving in...yes im driving! u arent see anything wrong here. mayb going out on friday nite for a spin since i haf the car but gotta be home early. alright now. time to shoo

Protect ~ 11:41 pm