Im having a medical tmr and i still haven print my medical questionaire form. Damn it!! recently i have something negative in me. im so reluctant to do anything. what's wrong man? i have been asking the question to myself over and over again and i still cant find any answers?i feel like im being made used of by some frendz; one eg is that when i say one thing, they always twist the words and making others thinking that im such a fickled-minded person? and the reason? they think its funny!

yea the whole's crazy. there's nothing i can do except fighting for my own words! it sounds crazy but its like i haf to defend myself every now and then. and every time i try to defend, they will just say "yalah i believe u" but they are still believing in the twisted truth. its very frustrating and i dun like ppl invading my privacy. its fun for others to be reading much into mine but its DEFINITELY NOT fun for me. Anyone can just addressed u as BRO but some of them are the real hypocrites. i tink there's a few around me now. now i dunno how they potrayed me as a person but i just cant help feeling its super bad...terribly bad especially the fickle-minded thingy...

anyway i got mentioned earlier on in my entry about this person who said something bad about me?that's one gd example of how ppl perceived me as. i dunno if i got a gd reputation and u just need a tongue with bad sentences can just smirked my image. and since ppl are so cocky about themselves, they are the biggest letdown ever. they say a mouth can be a weapon and i must say i completely agree. there's no debate to that. life is so fucked up. some ppl treat u like shit and u still befriend them for unknown reasons? its a marvel that it do happen. I hate u ppl!

enuf about that.

what's the current updates?

currently at : ISSUeING department
jobscope: keying orders into SAP, assigning them for production work.
health hazard: to wear safety boots when stepping out of office at 5th floor.
entertainment: colleagues who sometimes plays chinese music
alertness: still sleepy mode
how frequent do i work?: only when i get orders! but most of the time i slack.


Nothing to do at work.Might as well take a pic.


My paycheck!


Taken at coffeeclub(harbourfront). Pic quality not that gd but shud suffice anyway.:)



tat's all about my attachment stuffs. will be going to np in the morning tmr just to print out my medical questionaire. hai..such a bother...just for a form?and my parents haf to sign it!!well i just haf to forged it anyway!ooooo....

19yrs of life. i've been thru alot. i've read a section in the straits times today regarding stress. i tink im under tremendous stress. just wondering y am i so stressed about? absolutely nothing to do with attachment. i dunno if my life is going downhill or its improving for the better, im not sure of what i wanna do in my later life, dunno how to get out of my problems, been having low self confidence and everything that revolves around me just seems so blurry. i dislike something at home and i wudnt be discussing about it here. i will always remember what my mom said. grrrrr.....i tink i need a getaway!! where might be nice for me to go?hmm...i just need to unwind or mayb i shud take up kickboxing or boxing...nid to vent my frust on something else...hai...

wat an entry today...its just so negative,completely dispelled of happy thoughts! need a neutralised or something but where and of what form does it mould out to be? well i dun usually pour all of my problems to frendz, families or what haf u. i prefer to keep it and just wish that everything will go the way i want it to be. WISH is a fantasy word to me. It just never come true...lolx..i rather be void of feelings but its impossible...in every person, there's abit of sympathy, joy, sadness and etc no matter how bad u are. im a different person now i must say compared to secondary sch personality. i can say i neglect alot of things much more than yesteryears. it has brought me some dividends as well as losses. i have discarded the chirpy me back then in sec sch and i dunno, i just seems a quieter person now. even with frendz, i dun speak that much. usually they wud do the talking and i will just listen and say some bits of sentences. in sec sch i can talk as if im forever reaching out for the moon, but now its comparable to just taking one step and stop. in the process i lost interests in alot of things and from the way im living my life now, im doing alot of damage to my health. got to stop here or i wud be ranting more about my unhappy side. that wud be displeasing to those reading this right? just hoping to find a bright spark of life that i've been lacking of.

Protect ~ 11:53 pm