Thursday, December 23, 2004
2004; it is a bad boo-boo yr for me. I dun wish to be reminded of what happened this yr in the future. Yr of 2002 still relights the ever-cherishable moments i had in my life. It never fails to pick me up from the dumps(as if there is around me).
Was lazing around on the bus journey home, closed my eyes expecting to sleep! BUT WHAT THE!! golden memories suddenly ignited at the back of my head. I was reminded of those times i had with her. PS. HER is a non-fictionous character in my life. She took every single breath away from me and i cud only gasp for air unless i was around her, breathing was never a problem! Her jovial, happy-go-lucky in ur face type of attitude, never fails to bring out a smile in me. How nice if i cud live in my memories! But too bad, this is no movie or drama. Everything that happens, happens for a cause. But what does it lie for me? What cause do i benefitted? Bleagh! PUI!
Not EMO-ING am i?!certaintly not. I have a choice to work either half or full day tmr. The benefit that i can is on monday i dun haf to work if i work full day tmr. But IF i work half-day tmr, i will haf to work half-day too on monday. Am i gonna labelled myself stupid skewerishy faizal if i am to work half day tmr and still work half day on monday??!! OBVIOUSLY NOT!! There's a full one day of rest and what more can i ask for? Anyway my colleague wun be coming tmr. So i guess i haf to cover her work. Its easy job and im becoming more and more conscious of what's happening in the world today, thanks to straits times who accompanies me everyday without fail in office. This is due to the free time that somehow-i-didnt-ask-for-it prolongs my day. With straits times, i kept reading the papers over and over again, NO im not senile nor catch no balls, im just reading for the pleasure and to kill off the everslowing tortoisey slow moris loris time. SHUCKS!! i just cant do anything much to kill off the time. Another Bleagh! Phlegm plz go away...i dun need u...
Plans for tmr?
Wang Zifeng asked me and couple of pals to go to PARTYWORLD KTV AT CLARKE QUAY OR WHEREVER NEAR THERE. Told me its from 8-11pm. I end work at 5 only to reach home at 6. He suggested meeting 7.30pm at raffles place and i have like less than 45minutes upon reaching home to prepare to go out again. This is gonna be troublesome for me..Nevertheless, I will go. After singing tmr, the bunch of us, will eat supper for sure. Based on experiences, dan and wang will get hungry soon after doing someting. Hope something funny happen tmr.
Funny how i am still going to work everyday. I mean, its far enuf for me to take a cab which costs 20bucks a trip from home. Haf to wake up super early morning than 8am lesson in sch. The working hours, the ryders' uncles whom speaks in dialects and etc. it hit upon me when i was on the journey home inside the chongfu pri sch schbus! its gonna be reaching two months of attachments already and im already halfway there! i wish to reward myself with something nice. hopefully a holiday or wat. haha..i just need it man.
Exchanged a couple of smses with weili today on the way home too. She was asking what am i gonna do tmr. told her that i haf no plans except going out with pals. she will only be eating dinner with her family outside and she have no plans afterwards. Told her that she can join us if she wants. Unsure, she will tell me tmr.
Oh yea, eversince attachment starts, i suddenly realised that im missing bits & parts of globalisation! That is eating at MacDonald's! Had a mcspicy chicken burger meal on tues and it feels so gd yet again! it may seems retarded to u...(spare me from hissing expletives at u then!im normal). i lost of appetite at work coz the food kinda BLEAGH! PUI! not suitable for human comsumption in my opinion. I noe! Its FOOD. F-O-O-D. ARgh...damn it.
Was reading the LIFe! section today where they had this flamers award. The biggest boobs in SG? ermm...fiona or dunno-wholah...both of them looked normal to me. APPEARANCE wise. But with less clothes, they are advertising their assets. Its disgusting. oh yea, in yesterday's the newpapers, there's this british woman who had breast implants to dunno wat MM size? whatever it is, it really irks me. BLEAGH! PUI!
Enough of all these nonsense. Shud i change my blogskin again? Any comments guys? tag it! i wanna hear ur opinion!
Was lazing around on the bus journey home, closed my eyes expecting to sleep! BUT WHAT THE!! golden memories suddenly ignited at the back of my head. I was reminded of those times i had with her. PS. HER is a non-fictionous character in my life. She took every single breath away from me and i cud only gasp for air unless i was around her, breathing was never a problem! Her jovial, happy-go-lucky in ur face type of attitude, never fails to bring out a smile in me. How nice if i cud live in my memories! But too bad, this is no movie or drama. Everything that happens, happens for a cause. But what does it lie for me? What cause do i benefitted? Bleagh! PUI!
Not EMO-ING am i?!certaintly not. I have a choice to work either half or full day tmr. The benefit that i can is on monday i dun haf to work if i work full day tmr. But IF i work half-day tmr, i will haf to work half-day too on monday. Am i gonna labelled myself stupid skewerishy faizal if i am to work half day tmr and still work half day on monday??!! OBVIOUSLY NOT!! There's a full one day of rest and what more can i ask for? Anyway my colleague wun be coming tmr. So i guess i haf to cover her work. Its easy job and im becoming more and more conscious of what's happening in the world today, thanks to straits times who accompanies me everyday without fail in office. This is due to the free time that somehow-i-didnt-ask-for-it prolongs my day. With straits times, i kept reading the papers over and over again, NO im not senile nor catch no balls, im just reading for the pleasure and to kill off the everslowing tortoisey slow moris loris time. SHUCKS!! i just cant do anything much to kill off the time. Another Bleagh! Phlegm plz go away...i dun need u...
Plans for tmr?
Wang Zifeng asked me and couple of pals to go to PARTYWORLD KTV AT CLARKE QUAY OR WHEREVER NEAR THERE. Told me its from 8-11pm. I end work at 5 only to reach home at 6. He suggested meeting 7.30pm at raffles place and i have like less than 45minutes upon reaching home to prepare to go out again. This is gonna be troublesome for me..Nevertheless, I will go. After singing tmr, the bunch of us, will eat supper for sure. Based on experiences, dan and wang will get hungry soon after doing someting. Hope something funny happen tmr.
Funny how i am still going to work everyday. I mean, its far enuf for me to take a cab which costs 20bucks a trip from home. Haf to wake up super early morning than 8am lesson in sch. The working hours, the ryders' uncles whom speaks in dialects and etc. it hit upon me when i was on the journey home inside the chongfu pri sch schbus! its gonna be reaching two months of attachments already and im already halfway there! i wish to reward myself with something nice. hopefully a holiday or wat. haha..i just need it man.
Exchanged a couple of smses with weili today on the way home too. She was asking what am i gonna do tmr. told her that i haf no plans except going out with pals. she will only be eating dinner with her family outside and she have no plans afterwards. Told her that she can join us if she wants. Unsure, she will tell me tmr.
Oh yea, eversince attachment starts, i suddenly realised that im missing bits & parts of globalisation! That is eating at MacDonald's! Had a mcspicy chicken burger meal on tues and it feels so gd yet again! it may seems retarded to u...(spare me from hissing expletives at u then!im normal). i lost of appetite at work coz the food kinda BLEAGH! PUI! not suitable for human comsumption in my opinion. I noe! Its FOOD. F-O-O-D. ARgh...damn it.
Was reading the LIFe! section today where they had this flamers award. The biggest boobs in SG? ermm...fiona or dunno-wholah...both of them looked normal to me. APPEARANCE wise. But with less clothes, they are advertising their assets. Its disgusting. oh yea, in yesterday's the newpapers, there's this british woman who had breast implants to dunno wat MM size? whatever it is, it really irks me. BLEAGH! PUI!
Enough of all these nonsense. Shud i change my blogskin again? Any comments guys? tag it! i wanna hear ur opinion!
Protect ~ 9:22 pm
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Its finally tues!! monday was long gone with just 36minutes into the new TUES! im going for my IQ test later at cmpb and i wun be going for work! haven inform my supervisor but i got a paper to determine my innocence! what a day it has been for me.
Was glad monday was such a breeze. Usual stuffs at work. SAP system blah blah blah. Life's never improve there. That's such a letdown. I cant believe that im still there day in day out without realising that im almost completing 2months of attachments with a balance of 2-and-a-half more! Its a routine for me to be waking up early on weekdays and preparing for work. Walked the same path everyday to the bus picking point and i just realised the freshness of morning air...(farts on the way)...ahh....that's life...told sara that i wun be coming tmr and i hope she does have an easy life there. y do i say that?of coz there's reasons right?dohz..!
well currently im doing part of her routine job. so nowadays she will push some work to me and i will haf to oblige her. do i haf a choice?hello??? haha...anyway its better to be doing some work rather than slacking there, with time passing by so draggingly slow. when u haf nothing to do, its like a double-edged sword. of coz u can slack and enjoy at the same time;taking a short rest or wat but at the expense of time. individuals like me recently discovered that time really can be a quicksand. it just sucks u in...whatever!
oh yea...i boarded my destination bounded bus to yishun but alighted after receiving dan's sms. since i haf no work tmr(ie today now), there's no harm meeting him for dinner and some talk cock session. ate at jurong point's halal foodcourt and then slacked at coffeebean there. Shafie who was our ex-classmate called him asking us to go to his house, but i deemed it too far.TEBAN! nahz...i rather stick to jp. first of all apologies to heloise for not calling her back after the movie on friday nite. hence i sent her a sms today saying that im sorry and stuffs. she asked me whether im going anywhere for xmas, wooooo......mayb she wants to ask me out?haha...watever it is, i still haven receive any reply from her. soon after she smsed, pearly called. lolx...daniel was getting impatient. y does it that most of the times when im out with him slacking, there wud be disturbance..?!im not saying ppl cant call me but it just had to happen. chatted with pearly for awhile coz dan was making faces but put down after 11minutes or so...taking this opportunity to apologise to pearly for not calling her back as promised earlier..."im sorry!"
will make it up to u on some other days yea?
it was getting bored with the norms gooners guide of slacking, i suggested playing billiard. dan was reluctant at first but after little persuasion, he agreed...gingerly walked to mrt and dropped at je. played four frames with me winning 3-1 and the best part was me thrashing him 55-0 in the last frame. initially i asked for 5points handicap as he won the previous round.haha...and so during the fourth round, i managed to gather my confidence back plus some suay shots and was totally leading the rack. after the game, i told him that since he agreed to gif me 5points handicap, i gave it back to him. hence the updated score of 50-0.LOLZ!!no offence dan. was tired by then and head home lah...what else can we do.?he got lessons tmr and i got my stupid IQ TEST at cmpb.
arranged to meet shiming at 7am tmr. Hope i can wake up...gonna grab a bite or two now! just realised that my entries nowadays are getting longer and longer..gd/bad? u decide.
Was glad monday was such a breeze. Usual stuffs at work. SAP system blah blah blah. Life's never improve there. That's such a letdown. I cant believe that im still there day in day out without realising that im almost completing 2months of attachments with a balance of 2-and-a-half more! Its a routine for me to be waking up early on weekdays and preparing for work. Walked the same path everyday to the bus picking point and i just realised the freshness of morning air...(farts on the way)...ahh....that's life...told sara that i wun be coming tmr and i hope she does have an easy life there. y do i say that?of coz there's reasons right?dohz..!
well currently im doing part of her routine job. so nowadays she will push some work to me and i will haf to oblige her. do i haf a choice?hello??? haha...anyway its better to be doing some work rather than slacking there, with time passing by so draggingly slow. when u haf nothing to do, its like a double-edged sword. of coz u can slack and enjoy at the same time;taking a short rest or wat but at the expense of time. individuals like me recently discovered that time really can be a quicksand. it just sucks u in...whatever!
oh yea...i boarded my destination bounded bus to yishun but alighted after receiving dan's sms. since i haf no work tmr(ie today now), there's no harm meeting him for dinner and some talk cock session. ate at jurong point's halal foodcourt and then slacked at coffeebean there. Shafie who was our ex-classmate called him asking us to go to his house, but i deemed it too far.TEBAN! nahz...i rather stick to jp. first of all apologies to heloise for not calling her back after the movie on friday nite. hence i sent her a sms today saying that im sorry and stuffs. she asked me whether im going anywhere for xmas, wooooo......mayb she wants to ask me out?haha...watever it is, i still haven receive any reply from her. soon after she smsed, pearly called. lolx...daniel was getting impatient. y does it that most of the times when im out with him slacking, there wud be disturbance..?!im not saying ppl cant call me but it just had to happen. chatted with pearly for awhile coz dan was making faces but put down after 11minutes or so...taking this opportunity to apologise to pearly for not calling her back as promised earlier..."im sorry!"
will make it up to u on some other days yea?
it was getting bored with the norms gooners guide of slacking, i suggested playing billiard. dan was reluctant at first but after little persuasion, he agreed...gingerly walked to mrt and dropped at je. played four frames with me winning 3-1 and the best part was me thrashing him 55-0 in the last frame. initially i asked for 5points handicap as he won the previous round.haha...and so during the fourth round, i managed to gather my confidence back plus some suay shots and was totally leading the rack. after the game, i told him that since he agreed to gif me 5points handicap, i gave it back to him. hence the updated score of 50-0.LOLZ!!no offence dan. was tired by then and head home lah...what else can we do.?he got lessons tmr and i got my stupid IQ TEST at cmpb.
arranged to meet shiming at 7am tmr. Hope i can wake up...gonna grab a bite or two now! just realised that my entries nowadays are getting longer and longer..gd/bad? u decide.
Protect ~ 1:36 am
Thursday, December 16, 2004
I woke up at 10am this morning. Didnt go to np as i find myself still lying lazily on my bed. was hoping to get PES C so that i can work as clerk or wat,haha...dun want to chiong ah. But now i haf to chiong as im classified as PES B.it came as a shock to me. due to my eye's conditions,i was expecting a better air-con job prospect in ns but now i haf to go to the battlefield; run there and here; etc. i didnt do the IQ test today but haf to go back on tues next week. what a waste of time again!
Had to register at this counter and this guy who called me name looked at me weirdly. the name's malay but looked chinese? so first thing he came and tell me was that im mixed...i just gave him a smile...
There were a total of 10 stations. The first one was to check ur hearing. You would be seated in a small room alone; noiseless inside and whereby u haf to use their headset. If u hear a sound on either left/right ears, u gotta raised ur left/right hand. Shiming was inside and it was damn idiotic. haha!
After which we proceed to urine and blood test. we had to pee on this indicator. sounds disgusting but we had to do it. after that it was the prickly session of needles. the guy picked my right hand's middle finger and poke it with his toy. collected the blood sample and im asked to go to the next station.
Station 4 was a breeze. Dental check. Just sit there quietly for awhile and the doctor just checked ur condition of the gum and how many sets of teeth do have left i guess?
It was X-ray next. had to take out ur shirt while waiting for ur turn. Instructions were simple, u just had to press ur body against this machine and put ur hands on ur hips! sexy huh? lolx...i had to do it twice for dunno what reasons? i tink the whole xray thingy is damn perveted?hope there arent gays in the room.
Eye check is on the list next. Damn i hate this station the most! they took in 3ppl at a time and i was in there with shiming and this other guy. i sitted in the middle and the medical guy was asking, " anyone has eye problems?" knowing that i haf to declare, i just briefly said i got colour blindness....sheesh...the other two get to do their stuffs first and i had to do mine last. he checked my health booklet for history of colour blindess as i've lost my cert. luckily there was a note, "cert issued" asked me to figure out numbers from this dots & dots of colours...let me tell u from a colour blindness's point of view, it just cause confusion in ur mind and for my case, i gotten kancheong abit but i tink i managed to get some right and there's this number he asked me twice...i tink i got it wrong...from the way i see it was 21 but shiming who was there told me that it was 74 or something...woah...i was like...wateverlah...i aiming for pes c!!!haha....
next went into room 6. the coldest room of all. took height and weight there, then checked blood pressure. it was funny. there was this malay guy who asked me if i was a malay and a muslim? he saw my medical form but seeing my chinese face he asked me not once but twice!! it just happens to me when i meet strangers...hai...and so i haf to tell him i am and he asked me whether did i smoke or drink the day before? this is because it will affect the pressure's reading. i told him nah..i didnt..
haf to go to this ecg room ahead and i dunno what it means..haha...at this point, i was stripped to my boxers only. everyone has to strip at this point of time. we just haf to lie down and close our eyes. this guy put straps on both my wrists and ankles as well as dunno put wat rubbery thingy onto my chest near the heart area. it was quite fast.
finally we haf to take a queue number to see the real doctor. wahseh this one u really haf to strip and i gotta censor this. if u want to noe guys, just msg me.haha...told doc that i got flat foot and shaky hands. he asked me to bend down, squat and stuffs. after that we dressed up again while waiting for our pes status outside. GOT PES B!!damn it...proceed to room 9 for our own cap, shoes, boots and shirt measurement. without asking me to try the shirt, the guy just assigned me a S shirt but i told him i wanna try it out and yea the S(small size) shirt suits me perfectly. then went to counter 10 for IQ test but their last intake was at 4..so it was kinda late for us. we had to come back on next tues for the test. If u do well, then mayb u got high chance of making it into OCS(officer cadet school)..hope i can make it.haha...
i haf work tmr...hai..kinda looking forward to the weekends again!!yay!!can slp whole day during the weekends...i just need to slp slp slp...im such a lazy pig now...cant be bothered to be going out eversince attachments and the furthest i go was near my neighbourhood...cant be helped...tired!
Had to register at this counter and this guy who called me name looked at me weirdly. the name's malay but looked chinese? so first thing he came and tell me was that im mixed...i just gave him a smile...
There were a total of 10 stations. The first one was to check ur hearing. You would be seated in a small room alone; noiseless inside and whereby u haf to use their headset. If u hear a sound on either left/right ears, u gotta raised ur left/right hand. Shiming was inside and it was damn idiotic. haha!
After which we proceed to urine and blood test. we had to pee on this indicator. sounds disgusting but we had to do it. after that it was the prickly session of needles. the guy picked my right hand's middle finger and poke it with his toy. collected the blood sample and im asked to go to the next station.
Station 4 was a breeze. Dental check. Just sit there quietly for awhile and the doctor just checked ur condition of the gum and how many sets of teeth do have left i guess?
It was X-ray next. had to take out ur shirt while waiting for ur turn. Instructions were simple, u just had to press ur body against this machine and put ur hands on ur hips! sexy huh? lolx...i had to do it twice for dunno what reasons? i tink the whole xray thingy is damn perveted?hope there arent gays in the room.
Eye check is on the list next. Damn i hate this station the most! they took in 3ppl at a time and i was in there with shiming and this other guy. i sitted in the middle and the medical guy was asking, " anyone has eye problems?" knowing that i haf to declare, i just briefly said i got colour blindness....sheesh...the other two get to do their stuffs first and i had to do mine last. he checked my health booklet for history of colour blindess as i've lost my cert. luckily there was a note, "cert issued" asked me to figure out numbers from this dots & dots of colours...let me tell u from a colour blindness's point of view, it just cause confusion in ur mind and for my case, i gotten kancheong abit but i tink i managed to get some right and there's this number he asked me twice...i tink i got it wrong...from the way i see it was 21 but shiming who was there told me that it was 74 or something...woah...i was like...wateverlah...i aiming for pes c!!!haha....
next went into room 6. the coldest room of all. took height and weight there, then checked blood pressure. it was funny. there was this malay guy who asked me if i was a malay and a muslim? he saw my medical form but seeing my chinese face he asked me not once but twice!! it just happens to me when i meet strangers...hai...and so i haf to tell him i am and he asked me whether did i smoke or drink the day before? this is because it will affect the pressure's reading. i told him nah..i didnt..
haf to go to this ecg room ahead and i dunno what it means..haha...at this point, i was stripped to my boxers only. everyone has to strip at this point of time. we just haf to lie down and close our eyes. this guy put straps on both my wrists and ankles as well as dunno put wat rubbery thingy onto my chest near the heart area. it was quite fast.
finally we haf to take a queue number to see the real doctor. wahseh this one u really haf to strip and i gotta censor this. if u want to noe guys, just msg me.haha...told doc that i got flat foot and shaky hands. he asked me to bend down, squat and stuffs. after that we dressed up again while waiting for our pes status outside. GOT PES B!!damn it...proceed to room 9 for our own cap, shoes, boots and shirt measurement. without asking me to try the shirt, the guy just assigned me a S shirt but i told him i wanna try it out and yea the S(small size) shirt suits me perfectly. then went to counter 10 for IQ test but their last intake was at 4..so it was kinda late for us. we had to come back on next tues for the test. If u do well, then mayb u got high chance of making it into OCS(officer cadet school)..hope i can make it.haha...
i haf work tmr...hai..kinda looking forward to the weekends again!!yay!!can slp whole day during the weekends...i just need to slp slp slp...im such a lazy pig now...cant be bothered to be going out eversince attachments and the furthest i go was near my neighbourhood...cant be helped...tired!
Protect ~ 10:53 pm
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Im having a medical tmr and i still haven print my medical questionaire form. Damn it!! recently i have something negative in me. im so reluctant to do anything. what's wrong man? i have been asking the question to myself over and over again and i still cant find any answers?i feel like im being made used of by some frendz; one eg is that when i say one thing, they always twist the words and making others thinking that im such a fickled-minded person? and the reason? they think its funny!
yea the whole's crazy. there's nothing i can do except fighting for my own words! it sounds crazy but its like i haf to defend myself every now and then. and every time i try to defend, they will just say "yalah i believe u" but they are still believing in the twisted truth. its very frustrating and i dun like ppl invading my privacy. its fun for others to be reading much into mine but its DEFINITELY NOT fun for me. Anyone can just addressed u as BRO but some of them are the real hypocrites. i tink there's a few around me now. now i dunno how they potrayed me as a person but i just cant help feeling its super bad...terribly bad especially the fickle-minded thingy...
anyway i got mentioned earlier on in my entry about this person who said something bad about me?that's one gd example of how ppl perceived me as. i dunno if i got a gd reputation and u just need a tongue with bad sentences can just smirked my image. and since ppl are so cocky about themselves, they are the biggest letdown ever. they say a mouth can be a weapon and i must say i completely agree. there's no debate to that. life is so fucked up. some ppl treat u like shit and u still befriend them for unknown reasons? its a marvel that it do happen. I hate u ppl!
enuf about that.
what's the current updates?
currently at : ISSUeING department
jobscope: keying orders into SAP, assigning them for production work.
health hazard: to wear safety boots when stepping out of office at 5th floor.
entertainment: colleagues who sometimes plays chinese music
alertness: still sleepy mode
how frequent do i work?: only when i get orders! but most of the time i slack.
Nothing to do at work.Might as well take a pic.
My paycheck!
Taken at coffeeclub(harbourfront). Pic quality not that gd but shud suffice anyway.:)
tat's all about my attachment stuffs. will be going to np in the morning tmr just to print out my medical questionaire. hai..such a bother...just for a form?and my parents haf to sign it!!well i just haf to forged it anyway!ooooo....
19yrs of life. i've been thru alot. i've read a section in the straits times today regarding stress. i tink im under tremendous stress. just wondering y am i so stressed about? absolutely nothing to do with attachment. i dunno if my life is going downhill or its improving for the better, im not sure of what i wanna do in my later life, dunno how to get out of my problems, been having low self confidence and everything that revolves around me just seems so blurry. i dislike something at home and i wudnt be discussing about it here. i will always remember what my mom said. grrrrr.....i tink i need a getaway!! where might be nice for me to go?hmm...i just need to unwind or mayb i shud take up kickboxing or boxing...nid to vent my frust on something else...hai...
wat an entry today...its just so negative,completely dispelled of happy thoughts! need a neutralised or something but where and of what form does it mould out to be? well i dun usually pour all of my problems to frendz, families or what haf u. i prefer to keep it and just wish that everything will go the way i want it to be. WISH is a fantasy word to me. It just never come true...lolx..i rather be void of feelings but its impossible...in every person, there's abit of sympathy, joy, sadness and etc no matter how bad u are. im a different person now i must say compared to secondary sch personality. i can say i neglect alot of things much more than yesteryears. it has brought me some dividends as well as losses. i have discarded the chirpy me back then in sec sch and i dunno, i just seems a quieter person now. even with frendz, i dun speak that much. usually they wud do the talking and i will just listen and say some bits of sentences. in sec sch i can talk as if im forever reaching out for the moon, but now its comparable to just taking one step and stop. in the process i lost interests in alot of things and from the way im living my life now, im doing alot of damage to my health. got to stop here or i wud be ranting more about my unhappy side. that wud be displeasing to those reading this right? just hoping to find a bright spark of life that i've been lacking of.
yea the whole's crazy. there's nothing i can do except fighting for my own words! it sounds crazy but its like i haf to defend myself every now and then. and every time i try to defend, they will just say "yalah i believe u" but they are still believing in the twisted truth. its very frustrating and i dun like ppl invading my privacy. its fun for others to be reading much into mine but its DEFINITELY NOT fun for me. Anyone can just addressed u as BRO but some of them are the real hypocrites. i tink there's a few around me now. now i dunno how they potrayed me as a person but i just cant help feeling its super bad...terribly bad especially the fickle-minded thingy...
anyway i got mentioned earlier on in my entry about this person who said something bad about me?that's one gd example of how ppl perceived me as. i dunno if i got a gd reputation and u just need a tongue with bad sentences can just smirked my image. and since ppl are so cocky about themselves, they are the biggest letdown ever. they say a mouth can be a weapon and i must say i completely agree. there's no debate to that. life is so fucked up. some ppl treat u like shit and u still befriend them for unknown reasons? its a marvel that it do happen. I hate u ppl!
enuf about that.
what's the current updates?
currently at : ISSUeING department
jobscope: keying orders into SAP, assigning them for production work.
health hazard: to wear safety boots when stepping out of office at 5th floor.
entertainment: colleagues who sometimes plays chinese music
alertness: still sleepy mode
how frequent do i work?: only when i get orders! but most of the time i slack.
Nothing to do at work.Might as well take a pic.
My paycheck!
Taken at coffeeclub(harbourfront). Pic quality not that gd but shud suffice anyway.:)
tat's all about my attachment stuffs. will be going to np in the morning tmr just to print out my medical questionaire. hai..such a bother...just for a form?and my parents haf to sign it!!well i just haf to forged it anyway!ooooo....
19yrs of life. i've been thru alot. i've read a section in the straits times today regarding stress. i tink im under tremendous stress. just wondering y am i so stressed about? absolutely nothing to do with attachment. i dunno if my life is going downhill or its improving for the better, im not sure of what i wanna do in my later life, dunno how to get out of my problems, been having low self confidence and everything that revolves around me just seems so blurry. i dislike something at home and i wudnt be discussing about it here. i will always remember what my mom said. grrrrr.....i tink i need a getaway!! where might be nice for me to go?hmm...i just need to unwind or mayb i shud take up kickboxing or boxing...nid to vent my frust on something else...hai...
wat an entry today...its just so negative,completely dispelled of happy thoughts! need a neutralised or something but where and of what form does it mould out to be? well i dun usually pour all of my problems to frendz, families or what haf u. i prefer to keep it and just wish that everything will go the way i want it to be. WISH is a fantasy word to me. It just never come true...lolx..i rather be void of feelings but its impossible...in every person, there's abit of sympathy, joy, sadness and etc no matter how bad u are. im a different person now i must say compared to secondary sch personality. i can say i neglect alot of things much more than yesteryears. it has brought me some dividends as well as losses. i have discarded the chirpy me back then in sec sch and i dunno, i just seems a quieter person now. even with frendz, i dun speak that much. usually they wud do the talking and i will just listen and say some bits of sentences. in sec sch i can talk as if im forever reaching out for the moon, but now its comparable to just taking one step and stop. in the process i lost interests in alot of things and from the way im living my life now, im doing alot of damage to my health. got to stop here or i wud be ranting more about my unhappy side. that wud be displeasing to those reading this right? just hoping to find a bright spark of life that i've been lacking of.
Protect ~ 11:53 pm
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
My body's been weak since last sunday. I was sick and came down with a flu, cough and fever. I cudnt do much except taking medicines to battle it out with the germs in my bod.
Anyway resuming the story from sat. well i drove my family out for hari raya outing and its a hectic day i must say. We went out in the morning and got back only at nite. After resting for awhile at home, called weilong, shiming and weishyiong out for billiard at occ. shiming was sick and he kinda missed the fun that we had. so i fetched the two of them and we played billiard till it was around 12midnite. After that sent weishyiong home cuz he cant stay out late and went driving around yishun with weilong. our stomachs were signalling our brains to feed them. and so we decided to eat at upper thompson. upon reaching there, the stall that we planned to eat at was closed...damn...and it was only around 12+ close to 1. then i called wang asking whether he wanna come out. luckily he wasnt sleeping and i went to fetch him from his house bustop. i was happy to be driving anyway, its not that i get to do this everyday! initially we wanted to go to changi to look at bapoks and eat there, but i was kinda scared that we might get lost so we opted an easier route, JLN KAYU. somehow we managed to end up at serangoon there but i make a long u-turn before reaching back to lentor and from there took the expressway to jln kayu. parking was kinda full but managed to find one at the end...hai..so gotta walked abit to the eatery. ate there, slacked before sending wang and weilong home as weilong had to be home. if not we wud be slacking somewhere..haha...mayb from there i got my sickness..cant be helped...overworked my body i guess...
didnt turn up for work on monday. was planning to pon work coz my supervisor's not in office till tues but coincidentally i had to fall sick. got an mc and was excused for one day only. but on tues when i went to work, i broke out in cold sweat while waiting for the company bus...nearly faint there and sat quietly in the bus...just waiting to puke...i knew i cudnt last for the whole day...so i asked for half day from my supervisor..well he allowed and i went back to during lunch time. upon reaching home i just collapsed on my bed...slept for a very long time and thank goodness its getting better.
then today it was back to my usual self. and that means kept disturbing ivana whom im attached to now. im learnin NOR which means notification of returns for gds due to customer rejects or items being recalled. the bad thing was that im still coughing. im still gona be attached there till this friday and next week onwards, im going to the issueing department..two weeks there and then to production line. well im gonna miss the colleagues there and of coz they are gona miss me for sure...one of my colleagues commented that i haf a baby face...haha..im so stunned...
well im used to waking up early in the morning for work....BUT im not in the right mood to go for it...haha...kinda contradicting but hell yea..just dun haf the mood...
anyway i've found that out that somebody has a really bad impression of me. i shall not disclose anything but i got something to say. if that person dun really know me that well, that person just gotta shut up. i mean mayb u noe something about me on the surface but deeply...u noe nuts about me...anyway that person is a fairy-taled person. likes to twist words and changed them into something comforting just to console themselves.that's pathetic. yea i also dunno u that well, but do i open my mouth and blabber alot of bad things about u? ur the outcast, u dun want to mix with us and u go around sharing info with others telling them about me this and that. ur just so impossible to be existing. shheeessshh...
Anyway resuming the story from sat. well i drove my family out for hari raya outing and its a hectic day i must say. We went out in the morning and got back only at nite. After resting for awhile at home, called weilong, shiming and weishyiong out for billiard at occ. shiming was sick and he kinda missed the fun that we had. so i fetched the two of them and we played billiard till it was around 12midnite. After that sent weishyiong home cuz he cant stay out late and went driving around yishun with weilong. our stomachs were signalling our brains to feed them. and so we decided to eat at upper thompson. upon reaching there, the stall that we planned to eat at was closed...damn...and it was only around 12+ close to 1. then i called wang asking whether he wanna come out. luckily he wasnt sleeping and i went to fetch him from his house bustop. i was happy to be driving anyway, its not that i get to do this everyday! initially we wanted to go to changi to look at bapoks and eat there, but i was kinda scared that we might get lost so we opted an easier route, JLN KAYU. somehow we managed to end up at serangoon there but i make a long u-turn before reaching back to lentor and from there took the expressway to jln kayu. parking was kinda full but managed to find one at the end...hai..so gotta walked abit to the eatery. ate there, slacked before sending wang and weilong home as weilong had to be home. if not we wud be slacking somewhere..haha...mayb from there i got my sickness..cant be helped...overworked my body i guess...
didnt turn up for work on monday. was planning to pon work coz my supervisor's not in office till tues but coincidentally i had to fall sick. got an mc and was excused for one day only. but on tues when i went to work, i broke out in cold sweat while waiting for the company bus...nearly faint there and sat quietly in the bus...just waiting to puke...i knew i cudnt last for the whole day...so i asked for half day from my supervisor..well he allowed and i went back to during lunch time. upon reaching home i just collapsed on my bed...slept for a very long time and thank goodness its getting better.
then today it was back to my usual self. and that means kept disturbing ivana whom im attached to now. im learnin NOR which means notification of returns for gds due to customer rejects or items being recalled. the bad thing was that im still coughing. im still gona be attached there till this friday and next week onwards, im going to the issueing department..two weeks there and then to production line. well im gonna miss the colleagues there and of coz they are gona miss me for sure...one of my colleagues commented that i haf a baby face...haha..im so stunned...
well im used to waking up early in the morning for work....BUT im not in the right mood to go for it...haha...kinda contradicting but hell yea..just dun haf the mood...
anyway i've found that out that somebody has a really bad impression of me. i shall not disclose anything but i got something to say. if that person dun really know me that well, that person just gotta shut up. i mean mayb u noe something about me on the surface but deeply...u noe nuts about me...anyway that person is a fairy-taled person. likes to twist words and changed them into something comforting just to console themselves.that's pathetic. yea i also dunno u that well, but do i open my mouth and blabber alot of bad things about u? ur the outcast, u dun want to mix with us and u go around sharing info with others telling them about me this and that. ur just so impossible to be existing. shheeessshh...
Protect ~ 11:19 pm
