Currently im listening to greenday's american idiot on perfect10's live radio. Kinda tired now but nevertheless im gonna update my rotting blog. Well today i worked! well worked for miah's dad setting up of xmas decorations at tampines isetan. My fingers has gotten more rougher now and got some small scratches. i call it my own's battle scar..haha..there's more to do at parkway's isetan. did nothing much today though but was quite tiring in a way....*yawn*

after work, me dan miah haw and weilong went to play billiard. the top scorer need not pay for the game and there was 5 of us competing for the top spot...how challenging is that man? we managed to play two games and i just need to pay for the 1st game...haha...kinda shiok not paying for the second coz i won...what such luck man...haha...last ball and i had to pot it in...wohoo after that me miah and dan ate at ljs near tampines mall and we went home straight after.

my attachment starts next week and guess what's the worst part? its at tuas...SIANZ sia...im staying in yishun and they had to post me to tuas? thanks man...im getting 500 monthly and the company's name is ryder-ascent or its the opp?haha...i haf no idea where's located but hopefully im not lost on the very first day. my job scope is do to collect datas from various sources and collate them into one single database...that's what they put...but i tink there will be changes as i noe i wun be doing the same old thing again and again...u noe, being a cheap labour, also as guinea-pig, they will want to test ur flexibility...sweet huh?

oh had a class outing yesterday, lyn took pictures using her hp..hope to haf it and i will try to upload it here for all to see yea? got one pic i took with haw...we were acting like cute ppl??u noe the type when wanna take neo-prints?yea..hope to post it soon here...haha...lame..

Protect ~ 10:42 pm

At sentosa!

Amanda Miah and Me!

Two apes?

Guessed i got nothing better to do, so i just upload these pictures for fun.

Hmm..im having a 9am paper in the morning later and im still not asleep. I just cant get to slp but i've studied part of the paper..its sufficient i guess for later and i dun want to be in a situation whereby my mind just went blank during the last sem's final paper...

Mom talked to me abit about getting a car today. I just hope that i can get one as soon as possible. And the best thing is that im going for attachment after exams, so it might be easier for me to travel in a car. Be it second hand or wat..i just want a car..haha..im craving for it...CAR CAR CAR!!! My body's hot...dear..i dun want to be falling sick or else i just wun haf the mood to study for the remaining papers...Wish that it turns out well later.

Really am feeling boring right now? Dun u agree? I just hate the exam week as well as study break. oh yea...watched kindred spirit today on channel u today and ah-fu's wife died becoz she donated half of her liver to her son. Actually the operation was a success but due to the nature of the story, there had to be an imflammation to the kidney. It was very touching watching the show and i just had to hold back my tears. Paiseh ah crying infront of my mom and sis..haha..i was really gutted to see her die and at the same time i was fighting against my tears. My throat was dry and even when i speak, a low tone was expected...haha...that's the power of kindred spirit man. so far i have not cried watching any dramas or movies but there's many show that i nearly felt like crying. one of such movies is armageddon. it nearly turn on the tap in my eyes and i felt like letting it loose just to free myself from the feelings but i had a tight tap i guess. :p i just hope that one day i might be able to break free from this non-cry syndrome and continue with the show without being a hypocrite to my feelings..hehz..wat a lamer...

Protect ~ 3:22 am

Hai its back to the real world! Im mugging for my paper tomoro! Its like being forced to study when i dun haf the mood to do so. Watever it is, i hope to do well in all my papers. This is gonna be one bumpy ride till i reach my goal.

For those who's having papers, gd luck to ppl and rome is not built overnight, but we can build anything during the last minutes!!!haha...play lego then can lah...

Gotta go back to my notes...ciaoz

Protect ~ 11:32 pm

Im back home and had just bath. Y is my ears so red? huh??? what's happening?

i need a long gd sleep today..ZZZzzzzz

Protect ~ 7:52 am

Hai..i cant get to sleep so might as well do some blogging man. Hmm..im at dan's house, went for supper with him after parting with her at town. Today i met her at orchard mrt station and gosh i was late man..haha...wasnt really that late except that was later for around 10 minutes. Thank goodness she didnt mind at all..Well we went to marche for dinner and we talked alot there..she ate this codfish steak and i ate pizza. She fed me first before eating her share..haha..when she offered to me, i just opened my big mouth and it didnt taste that nice..hmmm...gave her part of my pizza and we didnt really eat much...wasnt that hungry i guessed..we drank snapple, hers being dunno wat apple and mine kiwi strawberry. actually i wanted to drink apple, but then since she chose to drink it, might as well chose others. then i mixed the drink and it taste marvellous. haha...neat...after eating when we were walking out of heeren, there was this guy who purposely pointed infront of her. she was talking to me at that point and it took her sometime to realise that it was her younger bro with his friends. his friends were looking at me quite strangely as i was a graduate from that school. they might somehow recognise me but who gifs a damn anyway...after that we went to taka as she wanted to eat ice-cream located at the basement. in the end she found her friend there and her friend gave a free voucher for the ice-cream. although she never used it, hmmm...it will still be a lil use in the future. after that we went to royal sporting house as i want to look wat's interesting to me....nothing much there and we proceed to kinokuniya bookstore. she said she wanna go mph but actually it was kinokuniya..so i suan her like madlah...saying...wah piangz..u jumbled out the names and stuffs...strolled around in the bookshop looking at book titles such as fengshui, tarrot cards and decorating homes....what the.....ahaha....the book about this home right, there was this pic in which the home was decorated so nice interiorly and on the outside it looks like a container improvised...its damn pretty for a home and its so cool....i dun tink its suitable to haf a house liddat in singapore. mayb australia wud be a better choice to build a similar kind there. she wanted to show me this book called the second memoir or something like it...but we just cudnt find it...in the end we exited the bookshop and slacked outside taka talking about our past relationships and stuffs...she pestered me about one important thing like how did i treat my ex in the past till the bf come and find me. i just cudnt tell her as its too personal..haha...but i told her about my other ex of what i did and stuffs...it was kinda heart-to-heart talk and she kept poking me, pinching and nearly wanna bite me...how violent can a girl be man...hai...she told me that she has shared all her secrets with me and that includes top secrets...not many of her friends noes about it....i wanted to share with her mine...but i just cudnt blurt it all out...something's holding me back...

Flashback at marche
on thurs i asked my frend to send me a mms of a picture with me and her taken in the mrt...i didnt haf that pic in my new hp as i forgotten to save it in my cpu that time before i parted with my old hp. and that bugger had to key in some nonsense text saying that i like her muchie...wah...tat was a killer man...and at marche...since she haven seen my new hp, obviously she wanted to explore the contents...i got a hunch that she was checking my mms folders at that time and voila...! i was right on the spot...she was on the msg that my frend sent. she saw the msg and i explained to her that shiming bullshited about it...haha...there was no reaction from her and i took it easy...phew...but seriously speaking, she does noe of what feelings i have for her..we didnt talk much about that message and it helps me saves my breath...haha...

Conclusion
I tink its better for me to forget about her and just move on...i tink she's just gonna remain as a buddy to me and that's that.nothing more....if u like a person, it doesnt mean u haf to be together right?im just happy to be with her company and more than happy to share my bits of problems with her..what more can i ask for?isnt that gd enuf?she's a nice friend to talk to and she dun mind listening to watever shit that i have. she also regards me as gd friends(which i tink and its true) with evidence that she told before lamenting how she wud like wanna end a conversation with that person shorted if she does not treat that person as a gd frend or wat. although she wud accommodate to her friends, but its just a one way conversation with the other half just talking to her...how true can it be? i dunno...mayb that's what she meant?hmm...

Fun or not fun?
its been a long time since i went out with her and it's the same feelings whenever i go out with her. she's just too nice...anyone can just haf fun with her...im glad that we kept in touch with each other although we missed each other's presence for almost 6 yrs...and now..we are back together!!i wish that we can just keep in contact for the years to come...and now im at dan's home....he's a faggot...he's sleeping and im here blogging away...im just so bored now...y???haha...dunno man...void of feelings(how i wish i can be one)....and now need a nap before going home in the morning...oh..its morning now...

Protect ~ 4:45 am

Went to sch yesterday to study wss at the library with lyn, wang and ken. Wang was very noisy as usual and ken was kinda hardworking..lyn was the tutor and she taught us this and that...anyways we were noisy and ppl knocked the wall beside our study room at level 5...haha...it was wang's fault man...ok after that went to play pool with ken and shiming. kept on playing and playing till miah and co arrived...then we still kept on playing..i was like damn tired and bored for playing so long but gotta continue. After playing our last game there, we had our dinner at macdonalds. slacked there till around 8+ or so with derek,miah and daniel. it was nice catching up and stuffs. then dan and me were like discussing about her in the bus back to mrt...saying that i still like her and stuffs...said that i need to tell her even though she's attached meaning just to come clean with her. its like he's telling me im in the middle of nowhere...caught in between my own feelings...saying i need to let go and mayb start looking for a new one?haha...crappy man...i told him its just an outing tmr as friends and stuffs...

Ok..tmr's the outing. I still dunno where to go as she asked me to decide just now. She sent me a mms message this morning, a picture of herself taken in the train at marina when nobody's there..haha..she was in her formal wear as she had presentation yesterday. im still racking my brains for the plan tmr...what's the big plan? its been a long time since i went out with her and it was fun being with her. dan suggested having a dinner inside cable car but i got no money...!!im so broke man..haha..if i got, y not..its a new thing to me...somemore i bet it will be damn fun..haha..putting that aside..well...im thinking of having dinner and then movies. it doesnt sound that constructive right?simple dinner and movies...anyone can just tink of that..hai..feel like taking a short nap now...i'll come back with the updates and drama tomoro after the outing ok?haha...stay tuned..

Protect ~ 5:06 pm

MDE's Soccer tournament was over and my team came in 2nd placed. It was a fruitful and learning experience for us as i've learnt not to play for two teams or else the other jealous team will come and complain to the head and nearly wanted to disqualify us..haha...crappy man...

So many things happened but i didnt want to type them out here as i am super duper lazy now. well i played billiard with weilong and shiming at occ. were playing for i tink 2 games already and i received a sms from her..."hello how's your day"..i straight away melt man...after that my billiard play was fantastic..haha...smsed her till i board the bus back to yishun and called her after alighting from the bus. she told me about her stuffs...u noe catching up of events...their exams ends on nov 5th and she asked me whether i want to study together with her. my exam's is like just next week and there's no way i can study with her...lolx...mayb i can just accompany her when she's studying..but that might be a distraction to her right? might be going out with her during this weekend or so...but im having my papers next week!!!haha...i need to study...she's scared that once my attachment starts, i will have no time to go out with her or so..for now she's the only one who can melt the cold-bloodedness in me..hhaha...hai...let's move on...

i got 4 papers and my fasting starts this friday i tink. wah...need to abstain from this and that...no doing this no doing that...
as for attachment, i dunno where am i going to be attached to...but i hope its a big company and the pay's gd...working hours shud be gd too and hope to slp the whole day :"p starting on nov1st and ending on march 13 or 14.....i had my last semester in sch and now i can say im a half graduate...coz im no longer studyin in school...im gonna be working outside and then get my dip...my mind's recalling the memories of what i did with her in the beginning of this yr...shit...i need to stop here...

[its all coming back to me now]

Protect ~ 10:01 pm

Aight! Here it goes....

Hmmm...what a short day! What do i mean by short...ok, i woke up at 4+ pm yesterday...and i stayed awake successfully till now..what an achievement huh?well it was very tiring for me this week as i had projects to be completed and presentations in school. It was kind of hectic but yes...i survived again and again except for three consecutive days, i took a cab to sch...coz i was late...haha...waste my money $$$ or else i cud haf used to the money to indulge in other things..then at around 6+ shiming messaged me asking whether wanna meet up later either playing billiard or just slacked around...i was like half-hearted to go out as im really burned out..but still i went ahead. so we met up and i had my dinner and we played billiard...after billiard i suggested to watch resident evil apolcalypse...did i spelt that correctly?i hoped so..actually i kinda forced him..haha..but who cares...the movie was not that nice considering that the umbrella's main aim is to see which of their experiment is better, alice or the nemesis(alice's husband or boyfriend....watever) hmmm...i tink its still worth my money.

i've watched two movies in a row here...on friday i watched the new police story with ken at westmall after sch. oh boy...that movie was fantastic...haha...did i mention i was a chinese movie freak?yea they are my favourites since young and i've not turned my back on them. I look forward to new chinese shows and dramas especially those from hong kong...their production is excellent and some of the actresses are HOT HOT HOT!haha..ken told me that he found it funny that a malay is watching a chinese movie...but hey, the diversity of cultures in singapore is almost transparent. yes im a malay, but i got a chinese blood. many of my frnds told me that i sounded more towards the chinese side. mayb that's true..i dunno it myself sometimes and ken told me that i dun haf that prominent accent of a malay,to him considering that malays once opened their mouths his able to distinguish themselves. haha...nice...i dun hang around much with malays not becoz im anti-social or wat...its just that im abled to accept chinese much more better than the malays. even my best frends are chinese...i found it hard to communicate with the malays...haha...wat irony...

Oh man...it seems that quite a number of ppl noe that i liked this girl, didnt take the chance and now regret. well its not my fault once again...its the atmosphere. ahaha...im not being aggressive enuf and stuffs...that's the way i am...hai...guessed the longest time that i have liked someone without confessing is her...its been for around 10 solid months...haha...but that's itlah..tink i just gotta move on and start forgetting about being with her and stuffs...hope that i have left a gd impression of myself in her and wish that she will be happy always.

Its a new day tmr. eh...my bed calling me already....last call??!!

MDE games coming up next week. WED and THurs. Im competing in soccer which is to be held at main field,sports complex. so anyone who's free, come and lend me some supportlah..5pm start...my team's name is zai zai lai fc...haha...if can i wana haf some cheerleaders, banners and one super big fan club...

i must be dreaming....

Protect ~ 4:01 am